Thursday, October 8, 2009

On your mark, get set............

Normally at this time of the school year I am gearing to go. I get my readings done ahead of time, assignments are done as soon as they are assigned, and I'm in this mindset where I feel like I can do anything and that 4.0 is totally doable. Time flies.

But ever since I got back on campus after that amazing night of Mraz at the Rose Garden, I've been feeling sluggish--not wanting to be here at all and wishing it was still 90 degrees--and actually wishing that I was still studying for the LSAT. Anything but being here and reading things I don't really care about. I feel stuck. Is it really only the eighth day of the quarter?

I feel like I've changed a lot over the summer. But I still have a lot to grow considering the state I'm in right now. If I was at my fullest potential I'd be happy. I wouldn't be caring about what my father thought. I would perhaps be reconsidering law school, if not considering going to a lesser-known school. I would just graduate this year, find some random, decent-paying job and live a comfy, peaceful lifestyle where I can live with no worries. I would do what I please and be happy. I wouldn't care so much about being wealthy and having nice things. I would move down to somewhere in California where it's summer all year long and wear flipflops and shorts everyday.

I know such a lifestyle isn't impossible. I could totally make that happen were it not for my father and his high expectations, were it not for my mom and her wish that I get a high-paying occupation. There have been times where I desired that luxurious lifestyle. I love clothes and shopping. I wanted to work in an office where it's all hustle-bustle. I wanted to feel important and live that high-class lifestyle with a nice car.

But lately I've been realizing that I just don't need it. I could be just as happy, if not even more happy, doing something else. But considering I'm still pursuing this unneeded lifestyle shows how much I still have to grow. I shouldn't be caring so much about what my parents want. I am my own person and I should be able to do what makes me happy. I could totally make this alternative lifestyle possible. But we'll see what happens.

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